101 things Harry Potter would only do in fanfictio
by Siacheckers
Summary: Its time for a reality check. Harry Potter isn't happy with fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

101 things Harry Potter would only do in fanfiction

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter if I did Sirius Black and Hagrid would be the main characters.

1.) Die and stay dead. (Death must be getting really irrated by now.)

2.) Have a SLASH relationship with Sirius.

3.)Or Snape

4.) Or Ron

5.) Or any other male character. (Sorry SLASH fangirls)

6.) Slit. (No emoness!)

7.) Become slytherin.

8.) Join Voldemort. ( I think the fact that they dispise each other might interfear with their friendship)

9.) Move to LA and become a pop singer.

10.) Kill someone innocent.

11.) Become a girl. (o.o)

12.) Cross-dress.

13.) Not blame himself. (He always does that. For almost well...EVERYTHING!)

14.) Be absolotley carefree. (No matter how many of us wish he could.)

15.) Be friends with Draco Malfoy (Their way too different)

16.) Bring people back to life for real. (Dead is Dead)

17.) Have a long-lost sister.

18.) Be raised by Mcgonagal. ( No matter how cool she is.)

19.) Or Hagrid.

20.) Or his long-lost aunts fathers brothers coisens twice removed uncle.

21.) Be sent back in time to become one of the founders.

22.) Go crazy.

23.) Kill one of his friends.

24.) Become a pervert.

25.) Become a ballet dancer.

26.) Laugh at someone elses pain.

27.) Realise hes one cool dude.

28.) Think before he acts. ( Griffindor bluring the line between stupid and brave every step of the way!)

29.) Not be stubborn.

30.) Not defend his friends.

31.) Obey the rules.

32.) Fall in love with Pansy Parkinson.

33.) Become a star golf player.

34.) Or soccer player.

35.) Or Football player.

36.) Become goth.

37.) Become a marine.

38.) Dye his hair pink.

39.) Prank call Voldemort

40.) Become gay or bi.

41.) Become evil. ( Really people hes way too nice for that)

42.)Tease someone about the way the look.

43.) Develope anger issues.

44.) Randomly burst out crying.

45.) Be a fanboy.

46.) Be turned into a baby.

47.) Prank the school without a good reason.

48.) Be mean. ( Hes never mean!)

49.) Be girly.

50.) Or prissy.

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Keep in mind this is not critisism. I think Harry Potter is awesome. Also its not making fun of anyone. And keep in mind this is just a fanfiction please. I hope you tell me what you think. This is my first fanfiction. I think it turned out alright. Say whatever you want about it. I tell you now you cant hurt my feelings because thats just the kind of person I am. .


	2. Chapter 2

Disclamier: I don't own Harry Potter if I did Sirius would live forever.

51.) Marry you. ( Sorry fangirls.)

52.) Become pregnent

53.) **Expecially** not by Malfoy.

54.) **Or **Snape.

55.) And **definatly** not Ron.

52.)Have a mary sue sister ( Thats annoying. What are the chances of them looking or acting exactly alike?)

53.)Take his life into his own hands ( He always does what others tell him. . )

54.)Have a mary sue twin ( FYI every one is there own person and not Harry Potter.)

55.)Control the elements ( No matter how cool we all know we think that is.)

56.) Have a mary sue sister **AND/Or **twin

57.) Get raped. ( He **can** defend himself!)

58.) Work on a farm. ( Really people!)

59.) Have a girlfriend that looks and acts just like him.

60.) Run away from a fight.

61.) **Expecially** not screaming.

62.) And Definatly **not** screaming like a little girl. ( Fake Harry: Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!! Real Harry: Ok, shut up.)

63.) Become a stripper. ( That freaked me out when I saw that!)

64.) Or A prositute. ( People forget how self-concious he is!)

65.) Become a hard-core manga fan. ( He's just not that type.)

66.) Watch porno. (O.O)

67.) Expecially **gay** porno.

68.) And no playboy either. ( I've said before he's not a pervert!)

69.) Selling porno of himself. ( I read that and almost passed out. It was so **not true.**)

70.) No porno! ( Got it?)

71.) Get Didaskaleinophobia (Fear of going to school.)

72.) Get a gender change. ( It was a scary fic.O.O)

73.) Not be the boy-who-lived. ( Come on, People! Give him some credit!)

74.) Discover a ancient demonic artefact.

75.) **Expecially **one that turns him evil.

76.) **Or **into A dark lord.

77.) Become a bishi. (O.o)

78.) **Expecially** not a girly bishi.

79.) Have a animorphis form of a snake. ( He's not a Slytherin.)

80.) Be sorted into Slytherin. ( Remember what Dumbledore said 'Yet you chose not to be and thats what made all the difference.')

81.) Realise that in the end Dumbledore was kinda a jerk. ( Once you read the last book you have to admit, Its pretty true!)

82.) Get a Tatoo.

83.) **Expecially** not one of a snake.

84.) Get his nose pierced.

85.) **Or** his tongue.

86.) **Or** his bellybutton.

87.) _**Or**_ anything else for that matter!

88.) Get bitten by a werewolf.

89.) **Expecially** not by Lupin.

90.) Have **the talk** with Uncle Vernon. (O.O)

91.) **Or** Aunt Peutunia. ( That was scary! . )

92.) Go to Azkaban. ( That just wouldn't happen. Rolwing wouldn't allow it!)

93.) Meet Artemis Fowl. ( Even though that would be awesome.)

94.) Become a ninja.

95.) **Expeciallly** not a ninja from ' Naruto'.

96.) Murder Rubeus Hagrid. ( What the heck people?!?)

97.) **Or** Sirius.

98.) **Or** Lupin.

99.) **Or** Ron.

100.) **Or** anyone else for that matter.( Come on people.)

101.) Read fanfiction and **not** be shocked out of his mind.

The End

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I'd like to dedicate this chapter to VampireDelight who helped me with some ideas for this chapter. Also to Violet44,lilJunebug, Uncle Sevvy, and most of all Little Angel of Light for their really nice reviews. To other let me remind you its just a story. Thanks for saying what you truthfully think though. Review please and say what you think of it. Flames and critsism are welcome too. 

Edit: I changed the title because I can't think of very many more things and barley have any time to write.

I'm sorry that it took so long to update!! I've been so busy with school work and everything I havn't had any time! In fact I **should **be working on a paper for school due tuesday right now. Also I have another story out, Its a oneshot. Its called The lights finally gone out. Have a good Veterons day people!


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